New to therapy? Start here…

Whether seeking individual, couples, or family therapy, knowing the reasons you are seeking therapy will help you feel ready for treatment with me or any therapist for the first time.

As a part of the intake process, you will be asked to take an inventory of your symptoms, including emotions, behaviors, and current situations and stressors. While you don’t have to articulate a detailed list of your concerns and goals, a general understanding of what you hope to work on can help me help you create as clear a plan as possible.

Not sure where to start with sketching out your goals?

-Set aside 15 or 30 minutes, to think about the thing(s) informing your decision to pursue therapy.

-Prioritize yourself in a place where you won’t be interrupted.

-Go old school, use a pen/pencil and write in a dedicated therapy notebook or journal to record what you want out of therapy.

-Pick a timeframe: Think to yourself, what will I want to be accomplished after [3, 6, 12, etc.] months of therapy? How do you want to feel, think, or act?

-What is preventing you from getting those things?

In my mind, TRUST is something earned and RESPECT is innate within therapy.

It is ok if it takes time for you to open up. Understand that the more you are able to share your experiences, in and out of therapy, the more I can help you. I also understand that it takes time to build trust, so go at your own pace. Know that I will ask about trust in some form or fashion: “How was it when I asked you ___?”

I will also give input, because, well, you’re paying me to provide it. So it would stand to reason that its good idea to try to be open to my input and listen when I highlight something that might be affecting you. I know that it could be hard for clients to listen to a therapist’s perspective when a therapists challenges a norm.

Part of why therapy works is that you learn to be able to think about outside perspectives and discern what is most important, choosing what is most important to you.

It can be hard to imagine what progress or change might be like for some things. I can help flush out some steps to help shape reasonable expectations of what therapy can and cannot help with in pursuit of your goals.

While there can be a lot of ‘will,’ sometimes talk therapy may not be the way, or I may not be the right person to help with that way.

After the first 2 or 3 sessions, we’ve probably created some objectives geared toward meeting your overarching goals for therapy. It’s good to come to sessions with a list of things you want to discuss, especially if you’re a big fan of structure and might not remember what you wanted to address otherwise. That doesn’t necessarily mean we will get to all of it in the session, but knowing where you are at can help me help you drive the conversation. After a brief check-in, I will ask questions like: “What is on your mind?” “what might help if we discuss that?”

I often get questions about why I ask the questions I ask, as well as where the sources of the psychoeducation (explanation of research on a particular topic) come from/who came up with the research. If you feel comfortable or it doesn’t distract from your treatment, it might be helpful for you to jot down notes during session. For some, I may encourage you to take therapy notes or a diary to keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Some people find writing things down helpful to better piece together where they were when they did something not beneficial and also see what they might have felt at the time. Incite is one piece of the puzzle for many people that can be easily lost. What better way to not lose that puzzle piece than documenting it?

Consistency is an essential aspect of sustainable change.

If finances allow, it’s a good idea to go to therapy weekly or every other week to keep things fresh in your mind. Similarly, consistency helps build a stronger relationship with me as your therapist. I sometimes forget what happens in your life and I do think about clients and the things they work on outside of the therapy space.

Understandably, there are limitations and obstacles to consistent therapy, and I am no stranger to those therapy-interfering things: money, lack of housing, fear of stigma. We can talk about how to build consistency as well.

Therapy can be awkward for a lot of different reasons. It is strange that we share intimate details with a person we don’t really know and feel various emotions and feelings about it.

Some of the things a therapist like myself might ask or tell you to do are rooted in addressing what I might be perceived as important to the issue at hand. While you might be thinking: “That has nothing to do with my situation, why are you talking about that? Why are you asking me that?”

More likely than not I have an intention, which I usually share. Sometimes, I forget to ask about sharing my thought process. These things can lead to discomfort that has the potential not to be conducive to your care.

Weirdness and ruptures to trust within therapy can be powerful when repair occurs with the therapeutic relationship. Of course, it is hard to be honest with someone, especially whenever you have a problem with something they said or how you’re affected by it (that’s a thing we can work on in therapy!). Maybe you feel nothing is happening, or perhaps it seems I’m not connecting with you. Whatever it is, know that you are allowed (and highly encouraged) to talk about these things with me, even if you don’t necessarily think to bring it up right when it happens.

A reason that openness and curiosity contributes to the effectiveness of therapy is if an individual is willing to express needs, wants, dislikes, and discomforts the therapist can change what they are doing.

Just like I mentioned in the bring it up section, asking about what and why a thing may be happening with me is a great way to address things like feeling anxious about how treatment is going. Some of that anxiousness is a natural part of therapy. What better way to help yourself than asking about why I approach an issue a particular way. Moreover, sharing you feel XYZ emotion is also helpful so that I can also help you work through any discomfort about therapy.

Whether it’s your first appointment or any other session, blocking out extra time before and after your session can relieve stress and allow time for you to process the work.

For many, therapy will cause stress before, during, and after session. Talk therapy is a medical intervention after all.

Rushing to and from therapy can cause you to feel frazzled and impact your ability to retain the intentional stress of therapy. If you can give yourself time before and after, you can do things like review any homework, reflect on your needs, or simply enjoy downtime.